Mr. Chairman and members of the committee, I want to thank you for allowing me the opportunity to testify on behalf of myself and my fellow veterans both current and future. My name is Michelle Saunders and I am a wounded veteran from Operation Iraqi Freedom. I went through my transition from the military to the civilian sector in May of 2006. Prior to my getting injured on May 1st, 2004, I was motivated, proud, extremely physically fit and ready to wear the uniform for at least another twenty years of my life, I was a career soldier. After hearing the words “your military career has come to a halt” I went through some serious hardships that I never imagined going through, as most veterans do today.

The military had taught me some of the most valuable tools and how to apply them in order to be a successful leader; I thought for sure I was going to be ok in my transition because of all the “promises” that had been made by veteran service providers and folk who already transitioned and had jobs. The day I left the gates of Walter Reed, I never imagined in a million years that I would ever look back.  The reality was and still is, it’s by far the worst relationship I had to walk away from. Aside from being angry, broken and in complete emotional turmoil, I fell into serious financial hardship and a serious state of depression to the point where I held a loaded gun to my head on many lonely nights. The only thing that stopped me was my lack of selfishness and what it would do to my family. I have always been a person of pride and strength, I felt like I was completely stripped of every shred down to the core. I had literally lost my own self worth.

 After many months of trying so desperately to find a job and barely escaping homelessness, by the grace of god I was fortunate enough to be at the right place at the right time. I was offered a job at the military severely injured center as an employment coordinator for the Department of Labor, it seemed a bit ironic since I had just gone through the trials and tribulations of finding a job. I was interviewed on a Tuesday afternoon, that night I was asked to attend a wounded summit conference that following Thursday in Alabama. I was so excited just to know I had a job that I forgotten about the fact I had no money to make travel arrangements. I thought to myself how incredibly embarrassing it would be to ask for a cash advance just to cover my travel expenses on my first day of work.  I had literally exhausted all of my resources and had no time. I hung my head and called my new boss at ten pm and explained my situation, he soon became my angel as he told me to breathe and took care of everything.

Finally, I arrived in Alabama at 3 am and I was able to sleep for three hrs before having to get up for the conference, the conference I knew nothing about. Little did I know that I was going to be asked to speak in front of many of our senior military and government leadership. I was asked to speak about my experiences of being wounded and the struggles I faced in the after math. I remember having severe anxiety about speaking and exposing my living hell, let alone in front of such a large crowd however; the scariest part was having to speak next to, two other wounded veterans- veterans with visible disabilities, veterans with amputations.

That feeling of losing self worth had started to surface again because for so long, I didn’t feel worthy or injured enough to be standing next to them. Sure I had been in a combat zone accompanied by multiple mortar attacks, serious fire fights, loss of good friends and sustained serious back injuries, but I had all my limbs and some sense of sanity. At that moment I realized that if I were to run out of that room, I would never have an opportunity to release all of what I was harboring. This was clearly a major pivotal point in my life.

I decided to speak last, so I was clear in my thoughts, as I had no idea what to expect. After listening to the two amputees ahead of me I realized at that moment, that I was different, I was in a totally different category-the category that clearly over shadows our visible wounded heroes. People fail to realize that a visible wounded hero has someone by their bedside twenty-four hrs a day seven days a week. Where as the “invisible” wounded heroes are overlooked on a daily basis. These thoughts were circling my head over and over but in a good way, good because I was in a position to finally embrace the hard “stuff” and help those who can’t voice the pain that is eating them alive, so I thought anyway…

I felt liberated after I walked off that stage, I felt as though my voice finally penetrated the core of the systemic issues that so many of us veterans share day to day. I had Viet Nam and other era veterans coming up to me in tears, just to say “thank you, you have said all the things that we could not say, or find the words to say”

When I left the conference, I was so eager to get in the trenches and start figuring the best strategic approach on how to stop the bleeding, but little did I know it was like trying to put a band-aid on a sucking chest wound. I soon started to see the blackness of bureaucracy from the inside as opposed to being the victim on the outside. I started to see how a “success” was measured by a number, how a problem would disappear when it was time to report to the higher chain of command, how the “collaborating” agencies would point fingers at each other of all the pitfalls and the hic-ups, but would leverage each other for the “successes”. After reading that, one may ask or presume I am bitter. The answer is, I am not bitter, I am disappointed and I am embarrassed. I am disappointed because I stand next to people every day who are in the positions to make effective change, who make six plus figure salaries a year and are able to go home at night and provide for their families just to start over the next day. I am embarrassed because I can’t financially afford to bite the hand that feeds me. For me, it’s a little different, I go home at night and I am in pain because I know that my brothers and sisters who once stood by my side at arms and always covered me, are gasping for air because they’re worried about where the next pocket of money is coming from, their VA appeal claims, their lack of credentials, because of what their families may think of their, once proud American soldier. These are the parts of the transition that holds the needed healing of the broken soul, how do you heal when you can’t stop firing squad?

We are still repeating history in a sense that during the 1970’s and 1980s, our streets were crawling with Vietnam War veterans with the same issues. The only difference today is our veterans are not being ignored by society and the government is being held accountable. For the first time Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) are being recognized as issues and they are abnormal conditions caused by combat trauma and combat stress. We live in a society that does not accept murder as something “normal”. We live in a society that is spiritual and compassionate by nature regardless of religious beliefs. When these horrific acts are witnessed or are performed by an American soldier in a time of war, it breaks the spirit in a way that can’t be defined. However, we are expected to act “normal” when we arrive back to our home soil. In addition our peers are forced to look at us different and weak because of the mentality of our senior military leadership, we are “STRONG” warriors that aren’t supposed to feel, yet we must follow the rules of the Geneva Convention because our morals and beliefs as a nation dictate. Yes there are services in place for those who “need it” but there is a silent voice that is extremely loud that puts those who “need it” in a corner. Fortunately, the American population as a whole is finally pushing back because they understand what our eyes see across the water is not “normal” however; there is still an uncomfortable stigma that is associated with this. Society as a whole wants to help, but that help must happen away from their children and their neighborhoods. We are making a difference however, the flood gates have been opened and an enormous amount of water has fractured the backbone of our infrastructure. It is up to those who can speak for the ones who can not. WE MUST INFORM, EDUCATE AND PROMOTE AWARENESS. The blind eye approach is NOT working; it is MUCH bigger than us, so we must take a different approach.

The million dollar question is “how do we fix it?” First, we must understand our veterans are fighting two wars, one across the water and one here on the home front. The concept and words “Support our Troops” seems to be everywhere you look today, from yellow ribbons to American flags to the “support the troops” bumper stickers, but do we really know what the reality of “support” means. We will never know how to properly support the veteran population as long as the “right” questions are not being asked and we will continue to have those veterans who will “fall” through the cracks and become a statistic in the homeless veteran population.

I will attempt to illustrate where the flood gates are broken, the following line items are currently staring us in the eye of the systemic core:

Inability for the services to admit that “PTSD” is an issue: Until the senior leadership of the military comes forward and recognizes that combat trauma is notnormal then we as a society will continue to see it as a stigma and continue to work in a vacuum.

• How do we heal if we can’t sleep?

• How do we heal if we are hyper vigilant in every facet of our days?

• How do we heal if we have social withdrawal because we feel so disconnected?

• How do we heal when our own leaders keep us at an arms distance and call this disorder a “personality disorder”— in turn ending in an even bigger stigma?

Lack of accountability and collaboration of agencies:  We are finding that more and more agencies and service components are wanting to “take care of their own” however, what the services/service providers are missing is that there must be case management across all lines, that is the only approach when dealing with physical and psychological wounds. No matter what a person’s situation, there is a history and it must be captured. In the case of the VA, the military must make that “warm” hand off. In the case of the Department of Labor, the VA must determine someone employment ready, there are many steps that must take place before a subject matter expert can consider someone “employment ready” We also must stop counting numbers as a measurement of success. Just because a veteran request services doesn’t mean they’re a success because they were entered into a data base. There is way too much anecdotal information that is being reported as successes in order to continue the fluff that is delivered to congress in the exchange of funding. This is clear reason why congress and our administration are being bastardized on a daily basis not only here in our own country but across the world, this is why we as a nation are so divided and we’re repeating history yet again.

Program Qualifications: All programs must have a certain criteria in place in order to provide and deliver services, of course for their continuity. However, when the criteria’s are different across the board even though the mission is the same, it can seriously complicate matters. Examples:

• Who is the authorizing authority to determine someone “seriously injured”

• If someone is not able to work because of serious PTSD why should he or she have to prove time and time again their condition, if it is clearly stated in their VA disability record?

• Why do almost all current providers only work with OIF/OEF, when we have other veterans from other eras that desperately need services?

• Why do veterans have to be homeless before they receive a grant? We should not be taking the re-active approach; we should be taking the pro-active approach. That is why we as a government spend so much money on R&D to better the future; we are a much smarter society to allow these pitfalls.

• We MUST understand that the entire family is fractured when a service member is injured physically and or psychologically and we MUST treat and provide services to the whole family

Identification Issues:  When a service member is injured down range and medically evacuated, the service member still carry’s their original unit identification code (UIC). This particular issue is creating long-term identification issues for. Because of this standard operating procedure it creates problems for the following reasons:

• Once the service member has arrived at the medical treatment facility there is a determination made whether or not that service member will be attached to a wounded transition brigade (WTB) or they will be assigned.

• Attached and assigned are two different categories. This means that if a wounded service member is attached, then he or she will then carry two UIC codes until he or she has been assigned due to long-term care needs or identified for separation.

• Those who have been augmented from other Active, Reserve and National Guard units fall between the cracks almost automatically because these individuals were never considered permanent party in the first place and once they are considered “broken” they’re no longer wanted on the roster, so the unit in combat can fill that billet immediately.

• Service members who are put into a temporary retired disabled category (TRDL) and sent to a civilian based health care organization (CBCHO). Once in this category a lot of service members are being put out of the service and not followed up through the VA or the military therefore resulting in “falling through the cracks” this particular population, often times are forgotten and are unaware of their benefits and services available to them.

Recommendation: Once a service member is injured down rand he or she should automatically be assigned a second identifier that will allow the outgoing unit and the potential incoming unit to keep one hundred percent accountability. Recovery coordinators must be assigned immediately to maintain continuity. (On a personal note it took Walter Reed six months to realize I was even there. In addition my unit informed me that if I wanted to go back to Hawaii I could and they would arrange with or without the facilitation of Walter Reed, not a bad deal if you just want to run away because you just cant deal mentally.)

Veterans struggle to find employment: Currently the average age of our veterans today are between the ages of 19-25. It is the reality that of being in such a young age group which often masks the very accomplishments and career progression that also reflects the approximate time and grade of a service member anywhere between the ranks of private through sergeant. In the eyes of the military a sergeant has the ability to lead, manage and supervise approximately 6-8 people under multitudes of stress however, in the corporate world this is something foreign. There are many challenges in the way of disabled veterans finding gainful employment, to include the competition of young college graduates chomping at the bit for sinking their teeth into the best corporate positions possible. With today’s competitive society, power is knowledge and often equates to increased earning potential. Realistically without these tools/credentials our veterans are automatically at a disadvantage the minute they leave the gates of the military instillations. Being a nation at war, with back to back deployments our military do not have the option to go to school. After being discharged, many are relegated to lower paying jobs simply to make ends meet and will not have the time to utilize and maximize their educational benefits due to the stress of keeping food on the table and a roof over their families heads. Coupled with a disability and a competitive labor market many of our heroes are falling into homelessness. We as a nation need not only protect our veteran population but we need to equip them with the proper tools and an environment to ensure they’re ready for the 21st century workforce.

Traumatic Service member’s Group Life Insurance (TSGLI): This one time payout of $25k up to $100k is causing SERIOUS debt for our wounded coming back. Regardless of the financial counseling, a person who has never received this kind of money is going to spend it the way they want to, in addition the financial decisions being made while under heavy narcotics and other medications are creating serious financial hardships. A large number of our younger service members are over 30k in debt due to the misuse of funds.

Recommendation: If the payment is made through the VA insurance provider, then perhaps have the money added to the veterans already disability pay. In the event that a wounded service member while still on active duty falls under financial hardship, then they should be able to file for a cash advance to cover the vital expenses at that current time. This should also apply to veterans that are already receiving disability compensation. Keep in mind most of our newly discharged veterans are between the ages of 19-25 years of age.

We as a country are protected by the gate keepers who wear the uniform for the purpose of keeping peace of such a great nation. We as a country can not and must not fail those who didn’t fail us. We can do no less, we owe them that, we owe them a future.